I know there are so many controversial feelings when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions. Some people (like me a few years ago), used to hate them. If you’re going to start something, why wait until January and use the new year as an excuse to procrastinate? June, July, August, March April — they’re all great months to begin tackling goals you’ve set for yourself. Though I still believe that growth is constant and goals should be created and worked on all throughout the year, I now have a bit of a different mindset. Maybe it’s changed as I’ve gotten older, or maybe it’s because I’ve learned to love the feeling of a new year beginning; to me that feels like growth in a whole new way — a time to reflect on the past (because yes, 2022 is now in the past?!), and to look towards an even brighter future. Though I can’t complain at all about my 2022 — I feel really lucky to have had the year that I did, I am even more eager to start this new chapter; the one where my educational journey comes to a close, and I take new steps into the full time career I’ve been working towards. The one where I continue on with the goals I set for myself in 2022, but also begin to tackle new goals and resolutions I’ve set for myself, to further my growth as an individual, sister, friend, girlfriend, daughter, and stranger. If living through a global pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we shouldn’t take anything for granted. And I think that’s something to reflect on as one year comes to a close, and a new one begins.
But why is it that so many people struggle with New Year’s Resolutions? According to the time management firm Franklin Covey, one third of resolutioners don’t make it past the end of January.
The reason being is that they’re just not choosing the right resolutions. And a resolution may be wrong for one of three main reasons:
It’s a resolution created based on what someone else (or society) is telling you to change.
It’s too vague.
You don’t have a realistic plan for achieving your resolution.
Your goals should be SMART, which is an acronym that stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. It may work for management, but it can also work in setting your personal resolutions, too.
Another problem with resolutions is that we make them so much more complex than they need to be. A lot of people think, “Well, I have a whole year so I’m going to attack and achieve this huge goal.” There’s nothing wrong with setting big goals for yourself, but I honestly think we put too much pressure on ourselves to change drastic parts of our life and routine in just 365 days, and that’s where New Year’s Resolutions get a bad wrap, or go terribly wrong. I wanted to share something that my mom shared on Facebook right before the new year. It resonated with me, as I tried to understand my back and forth feelings about New Year’s resolutions.
“Why do we start a new year, with promises to improve? Who began this tradition of never-ending pressure? I say, the end of a year should be filled with congratulation, for all we survived. And I say a new year should start with promises to be kinder to ourselves, to understand better just how much we bear, as humans on this exhausting treadmill of life. And if we are to promise more, let’s pledge to rest, before our bodies force us” (Donna Ashworth).
I think that I have finally come to a full understanding of my feelings surrounding New Year’s resolutions. I like to set them, but I also like to spend time reflecting on 2022 and the wild ride that it was. I like to look back at photos, talk about trips, and recognize my personal growth. I don’t like to throw 2022 away so quickly, and set myself resolutions that only focus on the person I want to be in the new year. I think there’s something to be said about taking time to ease into 2023, and be thankful for the growth experienced in the year prior & the memories made. I think the goals we set for ourselves should be achievable, and should be made to make us feel better, not worse. I also believe that working on the same goals you did in 2022 is more than okay. Someone once told me, instead of striving for perfection, strive for continued progress — you’ll be much happier with the person you become when you choose to let go of this idea of “perfect.”
Though I shared these thoughts in an Instagram post last week, I wanted to document them here too. And instead of listing out my new year’s resolutions (though I do have them!), I want to instead share some lessons I learned in 2022 — as I reflect on the year that I had.
1. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. It’s okay to change your mind a million times and still not know what’s next.
2. It’s healthier to let go of what’s not serving you than to keep trying at something that’s not bringing either joy, growth, or positivity to your life. Life is so short. I promise you will feel better if you quit the job, internship, etc. Holding onto it because you think it’s what you “need” to be doing will not bring you joy.
3. You don’t need to be the best at everything you do. The pressure we put on ourselves to excel in every aspect of our lives isn’t necessary. What you’re doing right now is enough.
4. Finding time for fun every single day will without a doubt increase your happiness level. While you’re at it — going outside and getting fresh air, no matter how cold it is, will boost your mood 10 times out of 10.
5. If they’re good ones, having 1-2 friends is more than enough — quality over quantity.
6. Social media only shows the highlights (!!!!!!!!!)
7. Your mom is always right + will have your back even if you’re wrong.
8. People will judge you no matter what you do, so you might as well do what you want.
9. Raising a puppy in your twenties will be the best decision you ever make.
10. The most significant memories of your life are in the everyday moments you overlook.
Though I’ve spent a lot of time in the last couple of weeks writing down my New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve also made a new habit out of reflecting on the last year and setting myself goals based on what I’ve seen myself achieve already. Where did I see growth? Where could improve? And of course, reminding myself along the way that if I’m promising to give more in the new year, to also allow myself rest, and give myself grace.
And my motivation going into the new year, as reminders to myself and to others:
It costs $0 to be kind. It truly takes more time and energy to be mean than to be nice.
If people don’t like what you’re doing, it literally does not matter. Allow yourself to care for a second (we’re all human), and then let it go. It’s your life, not theirs.
Listening to actually understand people, rather than to just respond, makes the world of a difference in how you interact with others. Listen more.
Here’s to a happy and healthy new year, and one filled with lots (or zero) resolutions moving forward into 2023.
Xo,
A